Feb 04 2009
News Blurbs: Man Robs Convenience Stores With Klingon Sword
I swear, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. One of my readers sent me a news story from Colorado this morning. The headline? “Man Robs Convenience Stores With Klingon Sword.”
Apparently, a young white guy robbed two 7-Eleven stores with a Bat’leth. Now, the article says that “both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon type sword, called a ‘Batleth.’” I’d be shocked to find out that both clerks knew the proper name for this weapon (as this quote implies), but I am impressed that the news station almost spelled it correctly.
Maybe 7-Eleven clerks should keep Tribbles in stock, to deter future attacks? All I know is, this guy makes for a pretty lousy Klingon.
You can read the original story here, but it’s pretty skimpy on any real details.
This robbery was done with no honor. NO HONOR, I say. Worf would be ashamed.
Let’s consider the pay scale for the average convenience store clerk.
If you were a clerk at 7-11, and some guy came at you with something pointy, you’d be like “here, take it,” and just thankful they didn’t actually pull something dangerous, like a gun.
Then you’d give props to the thief for having the balls. Plus you’d probably get a sick day for “emotional distress.”
http://foreverfamily.today.com
And if you couldn’t recognize the weapon, you’d probably look it up, just for the sake of being able to talk about it later. After all, most people get held up with pretty normal lethal objects. Running afoul of a robber wielding something as exotic as the Bat’leth there would make a pretty impressive story once you had a safe distance from the incident.